well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
