Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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