Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
high people should be assigned attendants
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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