so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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