First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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