god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
