i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You pole danced in your parka.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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