i was born a porn star she said
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
