wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
