Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
