my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
