grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
