Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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