We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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