I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
where are my eyebrows?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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