i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
