we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
