I heard we made out
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
