Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
