That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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