this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
