Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
