Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
