Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
