Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
