I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
