Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
