hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
