Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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