Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
