He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
