Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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