3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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