ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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