Who wears a wallet chain?!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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