I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
