i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
