Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
