i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
