i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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