You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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