I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
