dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
