remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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