Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
