Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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