so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
