i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
