She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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