It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
