i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
