her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
